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Issue No. 24

All In The
Course Of Duty

Branch News

On The Lighter Side

KID'S WISDOM

- When asked what most people do on a first date, nine year old Mike replied: “On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.”

- When asked when it is OK to kiss someone, eight year old Kathy responded, “Never kiss in front of other people.  It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.”

- When asked if it is better to be single or to be married, seven year old Kenny replied, “It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.”

- When asked why people fall in love, nine year old Jan answered, “No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.”

ALZHEIMER'S AT ITS BEST: An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen.

The two gentleman were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."

The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What's the name of that flower you give someone you love? You know... The one that's red and has thorns."

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's the one," replied the man.

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

THE HEARING AID: An elderly gentleman had had serious hearing problems for a number of years, so he went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted with a set of hearing aids that allowed him to hear almost perfectly.

One month later the elderly gentleman returned to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

The elderly gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to their conversation. I've changed my will three times!"

COMMUNION ON THE DUMP: The voluntary helpers in Kimberley regularly deliver meals to the + - 150 people living on the city dumps. One day, as we approached the dump, one of the men shouted out at the top of his voice - "Friends (manne) - here comes our Holy Communion!."

FOOLING THE TOOTH FAIRY: While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4 year old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was always intrigued by the various appliances that are used by the aged, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day, as we were visiting a bedridden pensioner, I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As we walked outside, I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, but she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

Notable Quotes

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. (Mahatma Gandi)

The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world. (Marianne Williamson)

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but is gets you nowhere. (Glenn Turner)

Health Tips

Nose bleeds: Lightly sniff cold water with a little salt or lemon juice added

Hiccups: Hold your breath as long as you can, then swallow when you think a hiccup is coming. Do that 2 - 3 times. Then take a deep breath and begin again.

Sunburn: Massage aloe vera ointment or tea tree oil on the sun burnt area.

(Information courtesy of the Natural Remedies Encyclopedia)

Thank You To All

Our heartfelt thanks to every one of our supporters. Once again this year you have all excelled yourselves - and the proof is visible in our growing service level, our expansion into new districts, and our ability to help more and more people besides the aged.

For the third year in succession Flight Centre have donated a wonderful sum of R48 000 to Meals on Wheels in the form of Pick 'n Pay vouchers. These vouchers were evenly distributed amongst the Meals on Wheels branches.

A big Thank You to all the Curves Gyms for donating truck loads of non-perishable food to Meals on Wheels.

THANK YOU - THANK YOU - THANK YOU

Observations
by George Carlin

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but we have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or just ignore it...

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever.

Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.

Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

 

Please Sponsor A Few Meals For An Old Friend

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Registration: ADRA SA (SAU) 002-706 NPO